Stupid stupid stupid

Dear boyfriend,

I might be open about most things, but what is the point of constantly showing me pictures of hot women with big fake boobs? Is that a hint? Am I supposed to be impressed?

Should I show angst? Displeasure? Oh wait, I already do. Silly ol’ me. Guess that doesn’t really matter to you, huh? Or should I put a big signboard on myself saying :” WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU”?

When I talk about homosexuality and how I can’t tolerate intolerance towards it (haha tolerate intolerance), you get all angry and huffy about it and preach all God-like about it. But when we talk about how I cannot tolerate plastic surgery of any kind and how God has made us all perfect as his creations, you try to find all kinds of excuses for it? (Especially fake breasts. ESPECIALLY. )

Argue all you like about it, but double standards are still double standards.

Why can’t you get it through to your brain that I don’t like you -actively looking for hot women online-?? It’s not like I look for hot men out there with huge dicks (fake/implants or not) and muscles or whatnot.

In most relationships, shouldn’t the women be the ones looking at hot men online ?

AND I’VE TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES ABOUT THAT. SO MANY. I don’t know if you even register half of what I say, really.

You: ” I have too many things on my mind! “

Yes, we all have things to do. I understand that you have many things to think about. I don’t ask that you listen to everything I say, but you can’t even remember important things that I tell you.

That…upsets me. To say the least.

You: ” I am being serious here. Can you pay attention for once?”

I DO pay attention. I might like to joke about , and have a bubbly character, but I pay attention to what you do… what you say. Which is more than what I can say about you sometimes.

Why am I blogging about this? Because YOU -NEVER- LISTEN. I always talk about this to you, but you always just dismiss it off.

And men say that women always hide things from you guys.

Bull.Shit.

If you ever read this, I know the one thing that you will say.

” Women. Them and their estrogen-related drama. ” /dismissal

Whatever. I’m done.

Jen, over and out

I should stop trying so hard..

Relationships

Am I clingy?

That’s a question I constantly ask myself.

Boyfriend has friends/work commitments/school commitments. So to him seeing each other is really SEEING each other. Literally. Like we say “hi” and “bye” to each other and just part ways. A bit exaggerated, but you get the picture.

We see each other like…(k, truly -see- each other)once a week. Maybe twice, counting in 3 hours of dinner. 1/7 – 2/7 of a week! Huzzah!

http://personalitycafe.com/intj-articles/12380-intj-enfp-joys-frustrations.html

I think I’m too emotional. I’m gonna shut up now.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder my ass.
-Jen.

Aye.

I wish I had a diary, a physical one. One that I can just pour my heart into so I don’t have to fire up the laptop just to get rid of my frustrations.

Ironically, by the time I get the machine set up, I was more furious than I was before.

But heh, blogging here is already pretty private cus no one else ever comes here. (HAH!)

Having an INTJ as a boyfriend is really …taxing. He just plain doesn’t get it.  They’re naturally not in tune with other’s emotions, so I don’t really blame him though.

Sometimes I just want to shake him by the neck and say : ” YES I AM SAD.”

I think I actually did that once. And he went :” Why?”

About something that just happened five minutes ago. Or two. /facepalm

Then again, as an ENFP, I guess I do get emotional. (The next one to talk about women and estrogen levels is gonna get a boot to the bum.)

It might sound odd, but he’s too dang, well, busy. Work+school+helping out in churches + freelance jobs+ meeting his friends = Pretty much his full schedule. We seldom get to meet, if at all. And he’s normally all grumpy, or focused on work, or checking his phone half the time.

I know I’m being selfish, but I just want some time together as a couple. I can’t help wondering if this is what they mean by the period after “the honeymoon”.(Post honeymoon period?) Oh well. Guess it’s back to my endless monologue and wallowing in self-pity then.

Real unhealthy, but then again so is KFC. So dang finger lickin’ good, eh?

Jen.

I don’t like…

-it when boyfriends ogle at girls in public in front of their girlfriends. The same applies for the reverse situation as well, of course.

-fake bewbs. Something about them just turns me off.

-feelin’ utterly utterly useless.

-feelin’ bummed out. Especially if one was really happy 2 minutes ago. Roller coasters got nothing on a woman’s emotions please.

-people who judge others just because they like a certain thing/lifestyle. If so-and-so like doing “something that’s socially non-conformist”, said person must be -this way-.

-cancelled appointments.

-stalkers.

 

-Jen

Boredom.

Ohmygosh. I do believe I’m about to die of boredom. Or something similar to that extent.

Can slowly feel my braincells migrating to a “better place”.

This was  a baaaaaaaaaaad idea.

 

Jentheveryveryboredhen.

Resolutions.

Jen

-needs to get toned.

-eat less fast food.

-stop getting affected by fleeting comments.

-get fake bigger boobs.

-stop feeling jealous.

-stop having self esteem issues.

 

Sigh.

 

Jentheratheraffectedhen.